Years ago I had a client (Melissa) with a disability which did not allow her to walk. She was confined to a wheel chair but this did not stop her from enjoying life.
Melissa was in her 20s, living in Australia, and had a successful career. I met her at a local bar to get to know her and understand more about her; what she enjoyed and what she wanted to get out of our time together. She was very vibrant and cute with brown curly hair, green eyes, and a cheeky sense of humor.
Melissa told me she had cerebral palsy which impacted her ability to move freely and maintain balance. It also effected her speech but not to an extent where I had any trouble understanding her.
Honestly, Melissa was a normal gal – living, working, loving, drinking, going out with friends, all the things that people do. She had trouble walking but it didn’t define her, and didn’t stop her natural desires. She was pretty cool, very open and honest about sex, what she wanted, and specifics on the differences a partner might need to account for with her.
I am always impressed with any woman who articulates her wants and needs. In a world that tells women to be demure and soft, it’s always refreshing.
We had a few more drinks and the night progressed how you might expect. Lots of talking, flirtation, small touches, and jokes. I had a really fun time learning about Melissa. We didn’t focus on sex, we didn’t focus on her disability. From what I could surmise Melissa didn’t see it as a disability. She did whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, with whomever she pleased.
The night went on and Melissa got a little tipsy. We decided to head back to the hotel to continue our night. We walked on the waterfront and kept chatting, eventually arriving at the hotel. Up to the room we went.
As we made our way to the bed, Melissa got me to lift her up onto the bed. I helped her undress like I normally do in all my encounters. She told me what she liked, lots of oral before any penetration (like most women). She had no challenges feeling anything. Where I initially thought I might do something wrong, be too rough, or hurt her in some way, Melissa liked it rough. She liked her hair pulled and some breath play. Of course some positions were not reasonable but we had a great time. Overall it was a very natural experience, CP did not have an overtly large impact on her sexual exploration and enjoyment.
If you think about it, everyone’s sexual life and experience is unique – able bodied or disabled. We all like different positions. Different actions make us come. We like to have different forms of visual sensations. Our nerve endings are more dominant in certain spots – some women love their nipples played with, and others it does nothing. Some women squirt. Where anal is a no go for most women, I’ve met some that prefer it over vaginal. And that doesn’t even touch on the wide array of kinks and fetishes which many people enjoy.
Melissa had her preferences and we enjoyed them together. Just like any experience, I get to know my partner and find out what they like. I love to please so this is paramount to my enjoyment as well.
My night with Melissa was a testament to the fact that our desires, pleasures, and sexual experiences are deeply personal, regardless of our physical abilities. Her honesty in expressing her needs was not only refreshing but quite sexy. It’s a reminder that true empowerment comes from embracing and owning our individuality, unapologetically. Melissa certainly didn’t apologize for what she needed.
To learn more, check out this great article on Vice about Cerebral Palsy and intimacy.
Wesley James - Premier Companion 