The Potential Wellness Benefits of Yoni Massage: A Closer Look

A couple years ago I was introduced to the idea of yoni massage. A relationship coach friend (Sara Tang) asked me to join her podcast where she was interviewing a well known mindful intimacy practitioner in APAC, Viv Kan. Sara wanted a male perspective and I was happy to learn more.

I thought “yoni” was synonymous with vulva (it’s not, but that is what I initially thought). So what is Yoni? It’s more than just a massage.

Yoni is a Sanskrit word often translated as “sacred space” or “sacred temple,” typically referring to the female genitalia/vulva. Yoni massage, therefore, is a practice focused on this area of the female body.

But the idea of Yoni is so much more. In addition to its literal meaning, the term “yoni” can also have a broader symbolic and spiritual significance. In Hindu philosophy and tantra, the yoni represents the cosmic womb, the source of creation and life. It is often associated with the divine feminine energy and is seen as a symbol of fertility, creativity, and nurturing. Pretty cool, huh?

But what exactly is yoni massage, how do you do it, and what potential benefits might there be? Is it just about getting off – a happy ending? That seemed quite crass and simple for such an old art form.

To find out I asked Viv to give my partner and I a session which lasted about 8 hours over 2 days. It was very insightful, fun, emotional, and a lot of work! But we both learned a lot.

From personal experience and conversations I have had with other practitioners (including Viv), there are many benefits. But everyone will have their own unique experience.

Spoiler ALERT! Yoni massage is not about sex, getting off, perversion, or anything seedy. Orgasms may happen but that is far from the point.

Stress Relief and Relaxation

Like many forms of massage, yoni massage is said to promote overall relaxation. It can help reduce stress by lowering cortisol levels and inducing a sense of calm. Though it is not going to put you to sleep.

My partner had been having a rough week; relaxation would have been nice, but she needed release more than anything (no, not an orgasm). She had a lot of stored up anxiety and stress with work and personal challenges. The massage released much more than a traditional massage. It was intense and emotional, with some tears shed during the session.

The massage doesn’t solely focus attention on the vulva. Before we got to any erogenous zones the massage focused on the body, the back, the arms and legs, the head, and the chest. Again, it is not about getting off but about embracing the divine feminine energy. Viv kept telling me, “If you think you are going slow, go 10 times slower.” She reminded me many times.

Improved Body Awareness

One of the core principles behind this practice is fostering a deeper connection with one’s body. This increased awareness may lead to greater self-confidence and body acceptance.

One of the cool things we did was vaginal mapping. No, we are not plotting a course. It’s about understanding the many sensations that a woman can feel inside her vagina. We started with placing a finger inside my partner and applying some pressure. We moved around clockwise little by little applying pressure to understand the different sensations, ranking from 1 bad to 10 good.

I had an idea that different areas of the vaginal wall had different levels of intensity and pleasure but I had never studied it. I say study because that is what it felt like. We were learning together. And I was understanding more about my partner’s anatomy. It was quite cool.

It didn’t stop at vaginal mapping but we also learned about specific erogenous zones for different sensations: the G-spot, the P-spot and the A-spot. I won’t go into them in detail but you can learn more here.

Addressing Trauma

In therapeutic settings, therapists may incorporate elements of this practice as part of trauma-informed care for individuals dealing with past sexual trauma.

This isn’t something to play around with lightly. As I mentioned, my partner started crying during the massage and we had to take a break. She has not experienced sexual trauma but the techniques Viv was teaching us released a lot of emotion. It seemed all the stress and anxiety came to the surface in a wave of pure emotion. It wasn’t sadness. It was more of a release of, well, just everything. It was hard to put a name or specific emotion to it, but it was powerful.

I can only imagine what someone who has suffered sexual trauma might go through. As such, it is important to go to a reputable therapist you can trust. This is nothing like going to a local therapist and getting a sport massage for tight hamstrings. Yoni massage is an experience – an 8 hour experience in our case.

Enhanced Communication and Intimacy

I cannot stress this enough – all successful relationships rely on open and honest communication. My partner and I already have good communication; we are in an open relationship so for me it’s required.

For a couple that already has solid emotionally well balanced communication, yoni massage opened up even more communication for us. I learned more about my partner – what she enjoys and the areas I can focus on for enhanced intimacy. We talked throughout the massage to ensure everything was perfect for her. Remember – “10 times slower.” I have a tendency to rush and have minimal patience. I learned to focus all that restless energy on my partner which was pretty amazing.

For any couple exploring this practice together, they can expect improved communication and intimacy in their relationships.

Important Considerations

Before considering any exploration of yoni massage, it’s crucial to keep several factors in mind:

• Professional Guidance: This practice should only be explored under the supervision of certified professionals like Viv in appropriate settings. If a guy (or gal) on Craigslist says they can give you a yoni massage – you just need to come over to their place, run away, quickly!
• Consent and Boundaries: Clear communication, ongoing consent, and respect for personal boundaries are absolutely paramount. Throughout the session with Viv I kept checking in (as did she) that my partner was feeling good about the experience.
• Time: Be willing to spend a good amount of time to have a full experience. If you are hoping to get an immersive full body experience in an hour, it won’t happen. We spent in total about 8 hours with Viv over 2 days. She first taught us about female anatomy (I learned some new stuff!), different zones and sensations, and talked with us openly about our expectations including our boundaries. The next day was a full focus on my partner. It was a lot more work than I had imagined! Massaging someone for 4 hours takes a lot out of you.
• Expectations: Keep an open mind. You are bound to learn something new about yourself. Isn’t that what life is about? Continuous learning even when we think we know our anatomy back to front! Again, yoni massage is an experience. If you have an open mind, ready to experience and enjoy, you will have a wonderful time. For those thinking yoni massage might lead to a night of wild debauchery or a 3 way with a cute therapist, think again. I was not erect at any point during the experience. I was too focused to entertain sexual fantasies or thoughts. It’s a lot of work!
• Emotional Well Being: Be ready to open up and feel. Viv told us at the beginning how many massages end in tears because so much is being brought to the surface. Be sure you are in the right mind set. If you are too focused on your shit job, the kids acting up in school, that thing your best friend said – it’s best to schedule the session for another time. You don’t want to miss anything because your mind and emotions are elsewhere.

There is honestly so much more but it’s best to experience it for yourself. I am giving you my perspective – a guy. My partner would have experienced it from a completely different view. What I will say is that Viv taught us a lot, we were completely wiped out by the end, and we learned even more about each other. I would happily do it again.

What are your thoughts on this alternative wellness practice? Have you or your friends encountered yoni massage before? Share your perspectives in the comments below!