I am really not bragging here. This is more of a public service. Ladies, I am looking out for you. And men, you have some lessons to learn.
I love going down on women. I mean, I really enjoy giving pleasure and finding that spot that specific spot (or spots) which make a woman cum. Suffice to say, women tell me all the time how bad most guys are at eating pussy. It’s like a universal complaint—they joke, “You should teach a class,” but there’s a serious point behind here. Too many guys dive in too fast, rushing or missing the cues, treating it like a task instead of something to also enjoy.
Honestly, it’s no surprise women get frustrated when so many men don’t know how to listen or slow down or try different things. That’s exactly why I’m writing this—no BS, no gimmicks, just a few solid, practical ways to give your lady something she will talk to her girlfriends about!
If you can make her moan, that will make you feel pretty good about yourself. Right, guys? You don’t want her saying how you were “just OK” at eating pussy. You want to be the best! So give her your genuine attention, and you can give her (and yourself) a really fun satisfying experience.
This isn’t about mechanics or memorizing steps. Spelling the ABCs and all that bullshit. It’s about listening to her body, her sounds, her movements, and letting them guide you. Whether you’re just starting out or want to sharpen your skills, these tips will help you approach oral sex with confidence.
1. Find Out What She Likes
Women know what gets them off (well, most women). First step—don’t just assume you know what gets her off. Some women love clit stimulation, others want internal action, nipple play, or even a little finger up the bum. But it’s not just what you do—it’s how you do it. Speed, depth, and pressure all matter. Some women want slow, teasing attention; others want faster, firmer action. There’s no one-size-fits-all. And don’t just guess or stick to what you think is hot—ask your partner and listen to what she says. This is about exploring what she wants, feeling your way through her body’s language, and tuning into what really gets her excited.
One woman once told me she wanted me to lick her clit from the top down very slowly. It wasn’t that exciting for me and something I was not sue to, but she loved it! Another loved when I focused on her clit, and used my tongue to put a lot of pressure on it, not putting any fingers inside her. Another wanted me to rub her pussy with my fingers, and then push down on her clit to make her cum. All very different! If I didn’t ask, I wouldn’t know.
2. Gently Pull Back the Clitoral Hood
For the woman that wants and prefers clitoral stimulation to reach climax: The clit isn’t just a tiny button—it’s an entire structure hiding in the vulva. And the clitoral hood is like a hoodie protecting the the tip. You want to gently pull back that hood to expose the full clit. This gives you access to more nerve endings which enhance the sensitivity. But remember the visible tip is just one part—underneath, the clit runs deeper with “legs” (crura) along the sides of the vagina.
Don’t only focus on that visible tip. Massage the surrounding folds and the labia minora too; you’ll stimulate all the hidden parts. In my experience it truly enhances the experience. One woman said, ” Oh, you know what you are doing” when I was massaging the other areas of the clit. That made me feel pretty good.
If you want to geek out for a moment, there’s a great detailed diagram and explanation online that shows the full anatomy—the glans, hood, crura, and more—which really helps understand how much there is below the surface.
3. Start Slow & Tease
Oral sex isn’t a race. Don’t go straight for the clit or g-spot or a-spot. Slowly move your way down to the pussy. Kissing, licking, biting, caressing – whatever you feel like but take your time. I usually start with nipples and move my tongue slowly between her legs, but I do not insert any fingers or even touch her clit for 5 to 10 minutes. I do everything else but that.
Why? Because by the time I touch the clit she is practically begging for it. I focus on the outside of the vulva; kissing and sucking on the labia and inner thighs or legs. Moving my tongue from side to side but always missing the clit. After that I start focusing on the clit for about 10 to 15 minutes. But when I really want her to cum, I tease the outside of her vagina. Eventually she will push towards me, which is when I know it is time to put my fingers inside her to hit the g-spot. I am upping the pleasure step by step, adding one thing after another.
Remember – women are not like men. This build-up makes everything hotter and more exciting for both.
One French playmate loved when I licked her clit and played gently with the outside of her pussy but didn’t want me going inside at all. Going slow and teasing made her melt.
4. Watch, Listen, and Follow Her Body
Her body is talking—loud and clear—if you pay attention. But here’s the thing: some women won’t always tell you exactly what they want in words. Sometimes they say something like, “You can find out for yourself,” which often means they’re not very comfortable talking openly about their likes or needs. Maybe they’re shy, unsure how to say it, or prefer expressing themselves through their body instead.
That’s your cue to be really good at listening to her body—observing how she moves, breathes, sounds, and reacts without her needing to say anything. Does she arch her back? Tilt her hips? Moan louder? Push closer or change angles? Those are green lights to keep doing exactly that. If she pulls away or stiffens, slow down or change it up till she gives you a better signal.
Asking simple questions like, “What do you like?” or “Tell me when it feels good” is great, but listening to her nonverbal cues is even more important. Her body knows what feels good, and it will tell you where, how fast, how deep, and how much pressure. Think about it-have you ever moved or moaned to try to get your girl to focus on a certain area? Same thing!
One gal would get really quiet before she came. Sounds counter intuitive. But once I figured this out, I knew not to stop when she got quiet. Then a minute later she would release a massive yell where just a second before she was quiet as a mouse. Pretty cool!
5. Get Creative with Clit, G-Spot, and More
Once you’re got the basics of listening to her needs and listening to her body, feel free to add in some layers, and try new things. The g-spot sits about two inches inside on the upper wall of her pussy—press gently, then firmer if her body reacts kindly, and watch her response. Some women want clit and g-spot stimulation at the same time. Others might like finger play in the bum layered in. (Always ask about that one first.)
One woman wanted me to hit her g-spot as hard and fast as I could until she squirted—totally different energy from slow teasing but just as effective.
Also remember nipples—some women can cum just from slow licks on her nipples. I was amazed when a girlfriend in Chicago came from my licking and sucking on her nipples. Was a first for me!
Bonus Tip: It’s All About Connection and Enjoying Giving Pleasure
Giving head isn’t just technique; it’s about trust, patience, and presence. If you are getting a sexy reaction it will make you want to do more. You might just look forward to going down on her! It’s honestly best to really enjoy giving pleasure. If nothing else but for your ego – “He made me cum last night in 5 minutes because he knew exactly what my body wanted.” Don’t you want her to say that?
So slow down, pay close attention, and enjoy yourself. Listen to her body. Gently pull back that hood. Explore the whole clit and labia. Ask, watch, listen, and adapt.
That’s how you really eat a woman’s pussy the way she deserves. And I love it!
Wesley James - Premier Companion 