I grew up in a normal small town (is 50K small?) in the Southeast US. I have a great family. I went to a top rated university. There was no abuse, no anger, and no addictions in the house that caused any trauma (trauma does not cause people to do sex work). Other then my dad whipping / spanking us kids when we got out of line (he would say, “go outside and get me a switch”), all was good.
Mom and dad were attentive and gave us kids the best upbringing they could for which I am grateful. My family life was quite conservative, Christian, and we went to church often. Not to say there is anything wrong with that, I had a great life. Just giving you some insight into my background.
Mom was a teacher and dad sold farm equipment, but we were far from country bumpkins. In fact we lived in a more upscale neighborhood in a university town where my mother had grown up. I got a car when I was 16 (not a new one as we weren’t rolling in cash!). But we went on nice holidays where my parents showed us the world to give us kids the best opportunity for the future.
I was a good student – my parents paid for Uni but I also got scholarships, put in the work, and graduated top of my class. My Uni days were not filled with frat parties, finding myself, and exploring drugs and sexuality. That was never my scene and I was always a bit shy and introverted. So I studied – a lot.
The studying has paid off and I got a job at a Big4 firm out of college. I hated it! Accounting and the politics of that world were not for me. After 2 years working I moved to a new (big) city, went to grad school, and got into a more creative field. One which I have been quite successful.
My career has had it ups and downs but I have had many good opportunities which allowed me to live abroad for more than 10 years across 4 continents. I’ve been able to see the world on the company’s dime, make some great memories, great friends, get promotions and titles, and spoken to 100s of people at conferences around the world.
I’ve also been able to invest in real estate and build a (very) small fortune that gives me a comfortable life, all while helping support my parents and sisters when they need. Some would say I have “made it.” Maybe I have. Looking back on everything I have lived many lives – I am not who I was 10 years ago, not even close.
So why, with all the success, money, praise, and security, would I become an escort? Why would I sell your body for money? (Escorting is not selling your body to be clear)
Here is the thing, I don’t need the money. My bills are paid and my life is good. I have money. I don’t do this to suppress trauma. No one has ever forced anything on me. It was an active consensual decision.
You might also be thinking I am in it for the sex. But let me tell you my friend – sex is easy, especially in a world where you can hook up the same day you download an app to your phone. I started late with sex so I did a lot of catching up in my 20s. Sex parties, BDSM events, threesomes (and moresomes), exotic holidays, one night stands – I’ve done it all. And that was before the escorting.
In my younger years, I was curious about all things sexual. Watching Red Shoe Diaries (if you remember that), discovering porn, and learning about non monogamy and swinging intrigued me. Anything that was not considered normal or vanilla was exciting and new. Again, I had been raised in a conservative household where you didn’t have sex till marriage. Well, I am still not married.
I had always thought it would be interesting to get paid for sex but never knew how to go about it. Especially as a straight man, I thought it was not something that was possible. But it ended up on my bucket list. And in my late 20s, I moved to a country where prostitution was legal (though I didn’t know it at the time).
I was there for a couple of years, working a normal job, and I met a girl (through an app) who ran the phones at an escort agency. I was intrigued so asked her if this is something I could do? The immediate “of course you could” was all I needed. It took a while but I finally took action. I went to the agency, met her boss, had an interview, and all was set. They would call me whenever there was a job which they thought I was suitable. I was officially an escort.
To be transparent, it wasn’t like I immediately got calls and was having sex every day. The market for straight male escorts is small, even in a city where it is legal. I did a few jobs, some good experiences and some bad ones. I won’t go into details about my jobs or clients, but it opened me up to new possibilities.
At the end of the day, it is still a job. Sex work is real work. And this job is not about me and what I want. It’s about my clients. But it is also a job I have a passion for. Not because I am having sex, but because I am able to offer experiences to women and couples which they are not able to freely seek out themselves for various reasons.
Sex is normal and to be enjoyed but we still live in a society where shame surrounds it. Family, job security, public perception, and judgment all play a part in why people contact me. Trust me, it is completely normal to have fantasies and desires that differ to others. It’s what makes life unique and interesting. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel wrong or ashamed for what you want. Live your best most sexually provocative life!
I enjoy my job and I am good at it. And it has nothing to do with sex (though my repeat clients would say I am quite good at it). My job is about being attentive, listening to what clients want while ensuring they don’t feel judged for their desires. Living out fantasies in a safe, non judgmental and comfortable environment is what I provide. Exploring your desires with an understanding person is the most important part of my job. Being a trusted and confidential partner to my clients is instrumental in ensuring a good experience.
That’s why I am an escort. It may sound cheesy, but I enjoy helping people and I am good at listening to their needs, either with with their words or with their bodies. Sure, sex is fun and it feels great! But hearing you are a conduit for people to live out their fantasies, to change their lives, to provide fond memories, to improve their marriage, to help them relax from a long week, and especially to give women a safe space to be who they are and explore what they want – that’s what really gets me off.
Wesley James - Premier Companion 